After another long hiatus, it makes sense to me to start diving back into what this site has always meant to me. It’s been a perfect outlet to express so many thoughts and ideas for years now, and usually through the most transitional periods of my life.
Over the course of the next 4-6 weeks, there will be a lot of change that ensues. While it could shape up to be one of the weirdest timeframes of my life, losing the routines, people, hobbies, and habits that the last decade of my life has been dedicated to, it makes sense to me to try to find peace through the lessons that these times will provide. Tonight, I explore the theme that I find all too commonly rooted in people when things look unclear, and that is fear.
There is really never a reason to fear, and introspecting where it comes from and how to combat it has been enlightening to me over the course of the past year, and I think it’s the ideal time to share what I’ve had to internalize to secure my own peace with living to the fullest and soaking in whatever moments I have as a student-athlete, and as a human being.
First of all, the biggest factor that combats fear is faith. More specifically, “Do not be afraid,” is the most repeated phrase in all of scripture, appearing in the Bible on 365 separate occasions. That’s once for every day of the year. The beauty of faith is having no idea what is concrete, yet choosing to believe anyways. Often times, not having a structured outlook on exactly how things will be grows peoples’ fear, because they fill the uncertainties with the demons of predisposition that they feed themselves. When in reality, not having all of the answers should do the opposite, and inspire us to live how we deem to be the fullest, searching for the answers in the ways that we find worth it, even if it’s not always comfortable.
All that is given to us is today. Today’s choices, today’s experiences, today’s opportunities, today’s people, today’s love, and so on. All of today’s blessings should always outweigh tomorrow’s worry. It is not worth being scared of what lies ahead when it can’t be seen. I’ve expressed this notion before, but the way our anxieties create images of how we normally see things unfolding is truly rarely how life plays out.
I find that the best tale for this is the story of the farmer and his horse in a clouded forest. The farmer takes his horse out for a ride through the woods as a deep fog surrounds them on their journey. At the point of deciding to return home, the man and his horse are in an unfamiliar place with a thick haze and darkness surrounding them. Humbly, the farmer admits he doesn’t know which way to go or how to get back home. The horse expresses to the man to look at what he does see. He asks the man, “Can you see your feet?” The man replies that he can. The horse then tells the farmer to “Just take the next step.”
If all you can see is where you are right now, and maybe one more step forward, then take that one step. Then take the next one. Then the next. Then see where that leads you. It’s okay to not know how the next 10, 15, 20, or 20,000 steps are going to go before you even take the first one. If it feels right, then do it. If it brings you joy, then do it. If it puts a smile on your face, then do it. Then address the next emotion as it comes. By taking each step as it comes, the greater grandeur of fear disappears because you can see where you are going and how that makes you feel right now.
This works in finding the jobs, schools, situations, people, relationships, etc. that are meant for you without you writing them off because of your own fears and doubts. Just because you don’t know where a path is going, or what the result of that path will be, doesn’t mean you just stand stagnant and wait for everything to show itself in due time. That’s living with no influence on your life, which means no injection of the things that you desire or make you happy right here today.
In a directly related sense, we find ourselves fearing pain. In a deep, dark, and twisted way, there is no way to avoid pain. Pain and struggle are guarantees in any route of the human experience. We just innately fear the struggle that we appreciate less than the struggle that we don’t. For example, being a full time student-athlete working on completing a Master’s degree over the course of a 56 game season is a struggle. Especially when the courses are at night and your social life is dead, your friends all have jobs, and you’re learning five different coding languages to analyze marketing techniques. No matter how you slice it, that is struggle. But, to me, that is my struggle that is entirely worth living and accomplishing and embracing because the dividends paid step by step excite me. That’s comfortable struggle, we all have those things that we love doing. And we also have things that we fear doing. Which is why it’s important to try to keep the same approach towards the things that we fear.
The best example I can think of to frame this in today’s world is the social fears and anxieties that most people express when exploring new relationships. Whether this be romantically, meeting new people, striking new conversations, or building friendships, there’s an increased hesitancy to embark on new journeys with new people. There’s a fear of expressing who we are to others for any reasons our ignorant brains can conjure, then choose to believe. But it was only ourselves that told ourselves to be fearful. Afraid to get hurt, afraid to be uncomfortable, afraid of judgement, afraid of rejection, afraid of circumstance, afraid of losing or gaining freedom, afraid to post, afraid to comment, afraid to… you know the feelings. Any time there is something new, there is a potential for new pain, and we fear that. But we shouldn’t.
Because pain is inevitable.
You either live with the pain of doing what you want to do and being hurt if it doesn’t go as you expected, or live with the pain of doing nothing and wondering “what if?”
You either live with the pain of playing through a bone bruise, or live with the pain of watching your teammates compete without you.
You either live with the pain of getting your resume rejected by your dream job, or live with the pain of still working for your miserable boss with your miserable pay.
And then, life starts to turn into what you want it to. You build the relationship, you play the game, you get the job, and you stop fearing the pain of what might lay ahead because you’ve eliminated the fear of what could be to live in the reality of what is. Not to say that reality is always beautiful, but at least you took the actions. At least you tried to take care of yourself. At least you put your joy before your anxiety. At least you started to look at situations without fear.
That is what we are told to do. To not be afraid.
That is what I remind you, because I always have to remind myself. Things are not perfect. You do strike out. You do feel rejection. You do have people that leave your life, and some that then beg to come back. You do bomb a test. There is no perfection, but there can be peace, once there is no fear.
As I embark down the path of the remaining 16-20 games, at the most, in my entire college baseball career, it’d be easy to be overcome with the fear of not knowing what is to come. Or, I can embrace the handful of remaining opportunities in a finite time to celebrate what this game has given me, how I want to enjoy it, and with who I want to enjoy it. That is what I plan on doing, and I hope you will join me in those finite uncertain periods in your life, too.
Don’t let tomorrow’s possibilities get in the way of what is to be cherished today. Send that text, make that call, give that compliment, feel that love, and do not give away all that you have – today.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you” – Deuteronomy 31:6
Talk soon, my friends.
Bryce
Super 8 